by Noah Mackinnon

Oh rainy days,
With the far too bright sky, receding to a
soothing, melancholic grey.
The annoyance of the sun's rays disappear
To be replaced by the clouds, with the cool
Wind enveloping me like a blanket of wisdom.

With breeze blowing sweetly through my nose,
Filling lungs with fresh, beautiful air.
The sort of wind that doesn't belong in Hamilton.
With its
Pretty,
Prickly,
Poor,
Houses,

But rather on a beach in Oregon in the
Break of the morning, or in the closing hours of the day.
And while I've never been to Oregon, or anywhere close,
I know it must belong there on that beach.

The damp air that makes me feel more healthy, young, alive, and aware
Then the crisp, hot air of bright days ever could.
The sort of air that makes me almost regret picking up smoking so young.
But even weaker lungs feel strong in an atmosphere such as this.

It's the combination of all of this that makes
Me dream of the Fall and Winter months
With a prejudice to Summer and the feeling that Spring is an intruder to a sense of harmony.
With June and July especially, being the harbingers of animosity.

Sitting in my car with the windows down,
I never roll them up when it storms.
My arm hanging out the door,
With a cyst on my wrist, like a protruding orb of imperfection, but even that feels familiar in the weather.

It's at peak of peaceful solitude when the rain drizzles in.
Not too rough, but caresses my skin like the kisses of a cool, simple lover.
Whose only purpose in shrouding my body
With their lip’s embraces is simply to know what it feels like, because an instinct told them to do so.

The soft patter of rain combines with the dulling echoes of thunder.
I remember asking you to dance with me.
Because it was raining and you didn't seek shelter like you normally do
Because you never liked the rain as much as I did.
But you just stood there with your summer dress
The rain making the fabric cling to your pale, statuesque form.

I saw an angel standing in the rain and my heart stopped everything so that I could look at you.
I had the urge to grab you and sing and dance, to hold on to this moment.

I waited till your eyes met mine to finally speak.
I told you with excited eyes and a heart filled with glee that we should dance in the rain.
You looked at me with oblivious curiosity.
And you asked me why, almost disgustingly.
Like it was the most peculiar thing you've ever heard in your life.
You said no and then we walked into the hot house.
And when you left me a few months later it was because of many apparent reasons
But apparent only to you, one reason was that “ I didn't love you enough”.

Oh, rainy days.

Rainy days,
How I miss your comfort
This Summer was way too long and the Spring is yet to come.
But Winter stands still, with etiolated beauty.
And the leaves fall with grace, pay obeisance as they touch the ground.
This Summer was way too long without you. The heat just an egging presence of your absence, the memory of you is like slamming my head on a searing, red stove top.

But the cold makes me seem like I can float above regret.
And in the equivocal greyness that I might by chance stumbleupon so lovely ignorance
The imperturbable stillness of mood, which allows me to have memories and thoughts that would destroy me in the haze of heat.
Where introspection isn't painful, but reflective.
Where you're not the present or a constant.
And it all starts with rainy days.